Self Portrait 14th May 1991
The ego splitting like a cancer cell as it comes under attack, a gory mess. The Roman soldiers leg expresses my fear of the Mafia who maintain their tyranny by attaching great importance to the sanctity of a woman’s good heath and good name and thus get a foot in the door for murder and organised crime. I also feel Rome was the real decider and actually crucified the Christ. My ego is being crucified. My feelings, my Oedipus complex is summed up by the leg of an Italian. Italians are very up tight about their daughters and I injured one through my ignorance of social mores. The girl, who broke her back in a suicide attempt, was not Italian but if she had been I expect I would have been brutally and effectively dealt with Thus the Roman leg generates anxiety. I am on the wrong side anyway and cannot hope for anything but total defeat as the sacred cow must never die. I am a target with no hope of victory only total humiliation. I completely acquiesce to this but am still deeply hurt all the time.
