6th May 1991. 

I feel like a target for peoples cruel remarks. Especially negroes.  What is going on?  I had sweet talked a girl to  suicide because I had no tongue, no real tongue, and could only flatter. This is very much involved with why I am ill.  The nail in the mouth expresses this. The people around me cannot understand how I was so stupid and cannot forgive me.  I can only say that I cannot socialise at all because of my weakness verbally and this is been, produced a tragedy. Thus I am a target. The nails in my eyes express that I cannot see whereas other people seem to have extra sensory perception and I am blind in this  respect.  Love hurts. I keep well way now from women on the advice of my psychiatrist.  On two Depixol tablets plus two tablets of anti-depressants, Tryptisol.